The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 20, 2008 11:25:44 GMT
I've been to see the people in HR at work today who suggested we sit down with the guy who's been making the Homophobic remarks and try and work things out. I was cool with that i don't want to have any enemies at work and would hate to work in an uncomfortable enviroment. So they called in my manager and this guy. We sat down and the HR woman (Chris) said "OK why don't you start Lee?" so as tactfully and as politely as i could i explaned that i felt uncomfortable with this guy calling me faggot and with him "dry humping" me. I also said that i didn't want any bad feeling between me and him i just wanted to be left alone to do my job. Then he spoke up and the fucking tirade of bullshit that came out of his dirty rotten mouth left me in tears....He's claiming that not only have i been flirting with him (which is something i would NEVER do) but he also said i made a pass at him when he was in the Gents!!!! There was more but right now i'm too upset and fucking angry to type it down. My manager just sat there and said absolutely nothing....which pissed me off....i've fucking worked there longer than him and i'd at least have thought she would have said "well we've never had any other complaints about lee" but no....she just fucking sat there staring into thin air like she was bored stiff. So now i'm the subject of a sexual harrasment complaint when i've done nothing! To be onest this thing has got me so upset i'm considering handing in my notice....but a friend of mine said that if i left without fighting it i'd look guilty when i've nothing to look guilty for.... It's fucking wearing me down though....i've been so upset aty work today ive had to take the day off sick....I'm at a total loss as to what to do....
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Post by SanSiroBird on Jun 20, 2008 11:31:02 GMT
I can't believe he said those awful things Lee!! And it's outrageous that your boss didn't do anything! I'm just like you, I'd handing my notice as well, but maybe your work mate is right: try to fight a little more: you've got that job, and it's in your rights to do it...ù Why do you have to leave your job because of such a dickhead? You're entitled to have that job as the homophobic bugger ... Have you ever heard about mobbing? You can't take them to court because of it.
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Post by Rach on Jun 20, 2008 11:31:39 GMT
How horrible for you... hopefully the truth will win out, if your HR staff and manager do their jobs properly. Are you in a union? If so you should contact them. It's very useful to have someone on your side in cases like this.
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Post by Stacey on Jun 20, 2008 11:39:56 GMT
That's awful.
Try and stick it out...if you leave and let him win, he's free to try it on someone else.
Remember, you made a complaint first and people who get themselves tangles in lie usually get caught out in the end.
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 20, 2008 12:01:45 GMT
Oh god..that's really shit I'm sorry, I'm not sure what the protocol for crap like this is. That guy sounds like a right prick, definitely with some serious issues of his own...
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Post by swindonforever on Jun 20, 2008 12:11:23 GMT
with any luck at least he'll hopefully stop doing what he was doing for fear of being caught, you can work hard get promoted a few times then sack him
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Post by bigospedros on Jun 20, 2008 13:00:20 GMT
man, that is low ... Awful, disgusting and cowardly on the other persons part. He's basically throwing shit back at you to take the heat off him! You need to stick to your guns. Are there any witnesses to his actions towards you ? It would be good to have some witnesses. Clearly he won't be able to get any because what he has accused you of is a complete fabrication!
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Post by Chloe on Jun 20, 2008 19:05:19 GMT
mate thats awful as others have said, try and keep fighting it if you can. and def get union involved - even if you're not a member they should still be able to give you advice and guidance even if they can't officially represent you. citizens advice bureau might be able to help as well
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The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 20, 2008 21:21:43 GMT
I'm a lot calmer now than i was when i first posted.....but i still feel angry about the "He made a pass at me in the Gents" comment....does he really think all gay men go to Public toilets looking for easy sex??? It's got to be the biggest stereotype there is!
And yeah....i am a member of the union....I'll be seeing them first thing on Monday....
Thanks everybody for being so helpful!
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 21, 2008 3:11:47 GMT
The only men who go to the toilets for sex, are ones in the closet. Probably that bully guy does it.
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The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 21, 2008 11:53:48 GMT
You know i was thinking that last night....maybe the reason he has such a problem is with me is because he's either in the closet or has feelings he doesn't like....in which case i sort of feel sorry for him because i remember how confused i was when i first realised i was gay... But at the same time....my sympathy for him is limited because i didn't bloody bully anybody when i was trying to work out what it was i wanted....
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 21, 2008 12:47:34 GMT
^ soo true :S
The funny thing about homosexuality, is often the most homophobic people act the most gay. All the girls at my school who are disgusted at lesbians are the ones who make out at parties to impress guys or kiss each other or say "love you" to each other.... What is that all about? I don't kiss people and I don't exactly say I love people..unless I'm feeling very brave! (Haha, that didn't work out) Or they're just extremely good friends.
But yes..he may be confused but he doesn't have to be such a bastard about it. People like that need a major overhaul. Oh, actually society needs a major overhaul..because as long as the idea floats around that being gay is something to be ashamed of, there will be people like this who are so doubtful of their sexuality and so scared of being judged that they act like right arseholes to everyone else.
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Post by James the BLF on Jun 21, 2008 12:59:41 GMT
This guy is a real slimeball
I have nothing more to say about him - you complained first and personally if I was your manager I'd have seen right through his lies and sorted the prick out
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The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 21, 2008 17:15:20 GMT
^ soo true :S The funny thing about homosexuality, is often the most homophobic people act the most gay. All the girls at my school who are disgusted at lesbians are the ones who make out at parties to impress guys or kiss each other or say "love you" to each other.... What is that all about? I don't kiss people and I don't exactly say I love people..unless I'm feeling very brave! (Haha, that didn't work out) Or they're just extremely good friends. Oh i hate that! People that "act" gay because they think it's funny or, as you said, are trying to impress their boyfriends.... I have been to few parties where there have been girls dancing with each other in a provocative way just to get a rise (no pun intended) out of their boyfriends....and i honestly sit there thinking "Good god is that how desperate you are??" but the killer is when you then hear them talking afterwards and it's "Fucking queers..." or "ewww i hate gays me..." But if we did the exact same thing we'd be branded as weird etc..... This is from a TV show called "Touch Me I'm Karen Taylor" and i think this will prove our point!!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8eGaMOtLYI
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 22, 2008 5:13:38 GMT
Oh that is so true hahahh! Thanks for the link, man. I've never heard anyone say "fucking queers" here, but I have seen people disturbed when they find out that someone is gay. Normally women are more against lesbians, and men more against gay men (well, for obvious reasons because they're all paranoid that for some stupid reason we're going to try and jump on them and sex them or something)
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The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 22, 2008 10:12:10 GMT
Oh that is so true hahahh! Thanks for the link, man. I've never heard anyone say "fucking queers" here, but I have seen people disturbed when they find out that someone is gay. Normally women are more against lesbians, and men more against gay men (well, for obvious reasons because they're all paranoid that for some stupid reason we're going to try and jump on them and sex them or something) The worst two reactions i ever got (looking back now i laugh my ass off at the fact these people were/are so small minded...) was when i told a friend i was gay and they went "Oh my god....i'm so sorry....are you OK?" and the second one was when i was staying in a student house with a female friend from College....her male house mate bleached the toilet every time i used it....when she asked him why he said "You know....the Aids thing....he might have it..." But in general people are pretty cool with me and just accept me for me.....but sadly there are a few who still find the idea of homosexuality abbohrent....
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 22, 2008 10:41:24 GMT
^WTF? that's pretty lame. Nothing THAT terrible has ever happened to me, except my friend's crazy mother thinking that I'm a butch lesbian who isn't actually a lesbian, just pretending to be a lesbian (I have NO idea how that works - I'm not butch, I'm just "femme-butch" - in other words normal, although very occasionally I do disguise myself as a male) And I've had people not believing that I was gay, thinking that I was just confused. It's sort of like "god, I went to all the effort of coming out and you won't even believe me! Lame!" And some idiot making fun of me and saying I liked all these really hideous girls and offering to set me up with a drug addict (come on, I'm not desperate!) And pretty much everyone shunning me in yr 7. Nothing major though. They weren't nice experiences, but I've never been bashed/rejected/anything like that.
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The Doctor
Polythene
Dude....Chris totally farted!
Posts: 492
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 22, 2008 10:58:46 GMT
Oh you mean the "We'll be in denial for you" crowd. They make me laugh TBH. I've had the whole cliche of "Are you sure?" and "It'll be a phase" my Auntie even tried to fix me up with one of her friends daughters. My mother was always really cool with me. But my Dad's reaction was "Oh right....i don't think i know any gay people" But generally i just laugh at the negative reactions i get...the only time i ever really get upset is if it gets really nasty like with the guy at work...
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Jun 22, 2008 12:48:37 GMT
^ Oh, and PS, as they said in another thread....we should be fine with you talking about people you like as long as you're not going on and on and on and on and on or saying weird things about someone's tits/wang (that goes for all genders/sexualities ) I made all these jokes about marrying Stacey and I'm still here!
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Post by swindonforever on Jun 22, 2008 16:06:12 GMT
please continue tit talk if you would
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