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Post by Sophie on Sept 2, 2005 20:19:59 GMT
Ok, I didn't know whether to post this in the Feeder forum or this one so I chose this one anyway I want to know if you lot would be angry/upset/unforgiving if one of your mates did this... It was when Feeder were doing the HMV signing up in London and I had tickets to the XFM show after. I was with my mate Rose and my mum came up with us (she has a soft spot for Grant ) When we were in the queue my friend hardly talked to me the whole time - i spoke more to the security guard by the gate then i did to her. When i told her i was just popping into the loo in Mark and Sparks over the road, she started yelling and was saying "I don't care what you do ok??! Just dont bother telling me!" I thought she was actually quite rude to my mum as well, who had lent her money etc to buy the PTS album vinyl AND had gone to get it for her. Earlier, I had bought present for the guys - little guitars and i had signed mine and Roses name on the front of each. When I gave it to Taka, he seemed just suprised (the security guard behind him actually had to put it in his bag for him lol). Then my friend snatched the other two off of me, and handed one to Grant. He kissed her to say thankyou, but realised that I had actually got them so thanked me as well. My friend had moved on to Mark by now and gave him his guitar. He looked so grateful and gave her a kiss and a hug and wrote "thank you, mark" on her vinyl. He just blatently ignored me. Mark offered to have a picture with rose and of course, it came out perfectly. I asked Grant if it would be ok if i had one with him, but just my luck, it didnt come out at all just one big white blur. But whenever i go round my friends house she takes great pleasure in showing me the photo of her and Mark again and again. I mean of course i'm not blaming mark for ignoring me - he didnt know i was the one that got the presents. But i still think of her giving Grant and Mark the presents and Mark saying thanks even though I had got them and she was a toal cow to me and my mum. What i want to ask is, should I still be as angry as I am with her for ruining one of the best days of my life, or should I drop it? I'm sorry this post is so long, but this thing has just bothered me since i met feeder. What do you think?
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Post by Stu on Sept 2, 2005 21:22:11 GMT
Bottle up the anger until it's so intense you can't stop yourself becoming the Hulk. Then pick her up and squash her so she's small enough to use one of the little guitars.
Problem sorted.
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vicki
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Post by vicki on Sept 3, 2005 22:58:36 GMT
I dunno really, i'd like to say life is to short, because it is,but you have the right to be upset.
However, I fell out with a really good friend of mine at uni and we didn't speak ever again and I still feel even though she was in the wrong, I should have done something to avert the situation. I still feel bad because if she hadn't done that one thing everything would be ok.
I don't want to trivialize what happened to you (meeting your favorite band is a massive thing) but its not like she slept with your boyfriend or your dad (thats like a fucking big deal that or stealing money off you thats got so much mens rea going on it isn't funny) it sounds like she was just being a prick and if thats a one off then just forgive and forget, i;m fucking prick all the time but my boyfriend knows that its not a horrible thing.
But on the other hand if she does this kind of shit all the time then just stick your finger up because you really don't need friends like that.
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Post by Sophie on Sept 4, 2005 19:50:22 GMT
She kinda does do a lot of this crap. Like delibrately buying the same earrings/ bag just to piss me off. But other times she can be really great, and I really don't know what to do half the time. I know she doesnt have a great family life, and sometimes i just feel like being a great friend, but sometimes i feel like slapping her. I mean, stuff like the feeder thing happens a lot of them time. And I've kind of stopped letting things go with her. Everything bothers me now. Ahh i dont know
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Post by baraquel on Sept 4, 2005 20:31:39 GMT
Sorry to get all Mentor on yo' ass, but if you two really are friends then you should hopefully be able to sit down and talk about it. If she pisses you off then you should be able to tell her so. If, as you say, she has personal problems, then I guess you do have to be understanding, but you should also let her know that that is no reason to be downright rude to you.
If you do talk to her and she shows no sign of apology or comprehension, then I guess you will have found out that she's not really a very good friend. So from there, depending on what kind of person you are, you can either persevere with the friendship so that when she's stopped being all 'emo' she will hopefully realize what a great friend she has in you, or you can find some new friends (not so easy, I know)
And if she buys all the same things as you then I guess she's just jealous of you!
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vicki
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Post by vicki on Sept 4, 2005 20:44:52 GMT
when she's stopped being all 'emo' cough cough She might want to be just like you, maybe she looks up to you if she sees your life as better. I agree that you need to have a quite word, i'm just about to have one with one of my friends because he's been pissing me about. If shes insecure give her the benefit of the doubt but don't bottle it, honestly is the best policy. However, if there is malice involved then i'd give you a different answer.
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Post by Jock on Sept 5, 2005 13:00:44 GMT
What i want to ask is, should I still be as angry as I am with her for ruining one of the best days of my life, or should I drop it? What do you think? you should be, something like that would just piss me right off and still annoy me forever and ever.....she doesnt seem much of a friend, tell the bastardo where to go
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Post by Alex on Sept 6, 2005 10:00:58 GMT
Erm, I'm with Jockyshorts on this one. If someone did that to me, I would NOT be best pleased and wouldn't be able to forget it either.
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vicki
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Post by vicki on Sept 6, 2005 12:05:22 GMT
I only the other hand will tell you that life is too short to hold a grudge and if you were once close its going to eat you up inside for the rest of your life if you tell her to naff off (talking from experience).
Go with your gut feeling, or the majority ie Alex and Jocky (usually the safest bet and they are mods so they are higher up than me).
Bet i'm confusing you, I confuse myself.
Can I also stress that sometimes people are dicks, I am at least twice a week, it doesn't make us bad people, we're just pricks.
Umm controversial and not towing the party line.
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Post by Jock on Sept 6, 2005 12:34:37 GMT
I only the other hand will tell you that life is too short to hold a grudge and if you were once close its going to eat you up inside for the rest of your life if you tell her to naff off (talking from experience). it wouldnt bother me telling someone to naff off that told me "I don't care what you do ok??! Just dont bother telling me!"uch poor sophie ... thats annoying even me now what she did...evil fooker
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Post by baraquel on Sept 6, 2005 12:36:59 GMT
What a nice forgiving bunch here at FFS
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vicki
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Post by vicki on Sept 6, 2005 12:39:36 GMT
I just urge you to consider all the circumstances. We all do bad things as a one off, just talk to her about it, tell her how you feel, if she doesn't seem to care then you know where you stand. If she shows remorse then maybe just put it down to one moment of stupidity on her part.
I'm not defending her, but I know the kind of the situation you are in. My situtation was a massive deal, it involved a 12 month housing contract, I can understand, but just be proactive and sit down and talk about it.
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Post by Jock on Sept 6, 2005 13:25:18 GMT
well ok if it has been the first time she has acted like a prick towards you then sure, give her a second chance, just be wary of her. But if it has become a common occurence, i wouldnt take anything to do with her. Sure still talk to her and remain civil, but as for being her friend i wouldnt bother.
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Post by Lemon on Sept 6, 2005 14:08:50 GMT
She kinda does do a lot of this crap. Like delibrately buying the same earrings/ bag just to piss me off. But other times she can be really great, and I really don't know what to do half the time. I know she doesnt have a great family life, and sometimes i just feel like being a great friend, but sometimes i feel like slapping her. I mean, stuff like the feeder thing happens a lot of them time. And I've kind of stopped letting things go with her. Everything bothers me now. Ahh i dont know Maybe not a great comfort but i'm the same situation as you there(not with the feeder stuff though) and i'm thinking about just not spend too much time with her at the moment because she jsut pisses me off. Anyway if you don't feel great around her or if she gives you bad feelings just know you have the right to break with her.Or just take a bit of a distance now and see how it goes.Just do what your heart gives you in,you'll sort it out soon trust me!
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Post by Sophie on Sept 6, 2005 19:24:46 GMT
Just staying back is kind of what I@m doing right now. But school has just started again and I'll be seeing her every day blah blah blah. I did bring up the Feeder thing about a month after it happened, and I did tell her i was pissed off then, but i think she just shrugged it off as not important because we fight quite a bit of the time.
Here's an exampl- at work experience she started singing a song I didnt know but knew the tune because it was in my head for some reason, and I said "ah so you're the one who got it in my head!" and started laughing. But then she started saying "no i didn't. i havent sung that at all today. its only because i listened to it last night its in my head.." and I kept saying "well it must have been you because I dont know that song." and we ended up having this total shouting match about it. The floor we were on was cpompletely empty but someone actually came up two flights of stairs to see what all the noise was. It's such a stupid little thing but she blows up at anything.
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Post by baraquel on Sept 6, 2005 19:34:19 GMT
Right, forget what I said about talking to her, kick the bitch in the shins and run away
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Post by Jock on Sept 6, 2005 19:38:38 GMT
you were right baraquel we are a forgiving bunch arent we!!
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Post by Rach on Sept 6, 2005 19:41:40 GMT
She sounds like hard work, who needs that kind of nonsense? Bin her, say I!
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vicki
Forum noob
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Post by vicki on Sept 6, 2005 20:24:01 GMT
She sounds like hard work, who needs that kind of nonsense? Bin her, say I! Hey hardwork is ok in a relationship... though not outside one. Sophie - can you find anything positive to say about her? If you can't then you have your answer.
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Post by Rach on Sept 6, 2005 20:28:24 GMT
She sounds like hard work, who needs that kind of nonsense? Bin her, say I! Hey hardwork is ok in a relationship... though not outside one. Some hard work, yes. There are limits.
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