|
Post by Soul Power on Apr 25, 2008 13:41:39 GMT
I think you know what he meant though why he would like to get shot in Leicester is beyond me. Dreams can be a strange thing. I know it's meant to be your subconscious is way of dealing with everything going on with your life during that time. As for Dai I think you handle everything very well + have nothing to worry about.
|
|
|
Post by Chloe on Apr 25, 2008 18:46:22 GMT
no-one gets shot in leicester And nottingham ain't half as bad as its made out to be - just don't go to the st anns area at night. simple.
|
|
|
Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on Apr 25, 2008 20:11:47 GMT
Driving 200 odd miles every other week end means you barely get to spend less than 48hrs together and aren't really very involved in each others' lives. I'd say after about a year you'd probably get sick of it. Shit but true. Well I agree with you on this but I'm sure I'm one of those people who would never get sick of it...
|
|
|
Post by Dai on Apr 26, 2008 2:34:18 GMT
Bit of an update - I've had complete closure on everything now. We talked and I sorted things out in my head and also got my image straight because her best friend told her I bitched her off behind her back. I'm happy that I have the final decision and I am no longer clinging onto hope. I can live my life and be free without thinking what might have been. I recommend to everyone to realise that your friends are the most important people in your life because they'll stand by you no matter what.
|
|
|
Post by Ath on Apr 26, 2008 8:31:47 GMT
Yeah. Friends are usuall more a constant in your life than ppl in your love life. so making sure you don't stuff them off when you find someone new is important. I know a few of my mates who've done that...
|
|
|
Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on Apr 26, 2008 22:04:32 GMT
I did that too then regretted it thanks goodness it wasn't too late already
|
|
|
Post by ludicrouslouisa on Apr 27, 2008 11:01:40 GMT
Glad you feel better Dai. I've never dreamed about someone I broke up with, but I've been dreaming about the girl I liked since year 7 recently. Which sucks because I never had a chance in the first place. And when you wake up you think... "ow. Damn." I can't even talk to her, really.
|
|
|
Post by homeforsummer on Apr 27, 2008 11:48:25 GMT
Good on you Dai, major kudos for that.
*Hugs for Louisa*
|
|
|
Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on Apr 27, 2008 21:07:46 GMT
Glad for you Dai, everything will get better, you'll see that. hugs Louisa I know what it means...
|
|
|
Post by Dai on Apr 27, 2008 22:44:32 GMT
Yeh things have already started getting better, I no longer feel inclined to check her Facebook every time I go on there and I don't feel like venting any more. I want to meet new people. I remember looking back at how I was before meeting her - I had met and talked to a lot of people, girls included and I loved the experience of meeting new people, getting to know them and having laughs. I look forward to doing that again.
I think that after your first bad split (this would be the first split where I've felt quite bad), then you realise that relationships do have a time span where things are awesome, and it clearly wasn't meant to last more than those 2 awesome years for me. When in the relationship you feel like the luckiest person in the world but the catch is that most guys feel like that with their respective relationships. I'm not saying don't fall into that trap because it is our feelings that make things so special, I just have a different outlook on it now as I don't think that there's that one person for someone. I believed in all that stuff, but now I think I'm wiser, stronger and far more prepared for things.
If it has come across like I think believing in love is silly, then let me correct that - I do believe in love and I believe in it overcoming boundaries. But maybe it's just one of life's mysteries - that you don't know what this infamous "true love" is until you have it. I look at my parents, whose 25th anniversary is coming up and think there's more there than a simple feeling. I'm sure everyone has their own perspective on it, and I think a lot of how you feel is up to how you interprate the feelings. All I know is that feelings and experiences make you stronger and make life worth living. Even if things end, the feelings and experiences you had felt were real and more potent than anything you've ever felt, and that alone can help you look back and appreciate the memories, then look forward wiser than you've ever been, searching for that next amazing moment, that next sentimental memory you'll keep with you always.
|
|
|
Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on Apr 29, 2008 21:52:21 GMT
Great speech mate I completely agree with you on this I hope me and my girlfriend will never split I love her so much and we're going through such an amazing time
|
|
|
Post by Dai on Apr 29, 2008 22:10:00 GMT
I'm glad you're having an amazing time and I wish you all the best, mate!
|
|
|
Post by Dai on May 11, 2008 21:28:30 GMT
Here's a twist in the story - I received a phonecall at 5am from her this morning. She had just got back in from a night out in town. She had had a pretty crap night - didn't quite know why but she basically said she misses me. We talked a couple of days ago after not speaking for 2-3 weeks and she said she had been doing a lot of "sitting and thinking". I guessed it was because she had said she wished she'd stayed in uni but last night I found out it's because over the past few days she has possibly regretted her decision.
Which leaves me in a bloody awkward situation. For the past couple of months I've been having to put her behind me, put my feelings away and move on. It was going fine - being with friends helps a lot. So really everything was going smoothly, but now his has come up, and I don't quite know what to do.
I text her after the conversation saying it's only natural to miss someone who you've been with for so long, and I said I naturally missed her too, and if she wanted to talk about it more then I'm here to talk to even if it's just as a friend. But I've heard no word from her today. I don't know whether she misses me or the general company I provide and I'm adamant I'm not letting myself get my hopes up as I don't want to get hurt again. But it's an awkward situation nonetheless - someone I would have given everything for says she misses me 2 months after she finished me, but I've spent the last 2 months making sure I don't live to hope we get back together and basically putting her behind me.
Heeeeeeeeelp lol
|
|
|
Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on May 11, 2008 21:48:11 GMT
Mmmm I think that in a similar situation I would come back on her without even thinking about it, which I believe would be a mistake cause you should think about it first. I think what you really need to do is trying to understand what she really wants from you and then act consequently. It is obviously normal to miss a person you've been with for years, but I would say give it a bit of time to see how the situation evolves and try not to build up hopes that then could let you down even more than first. I've done that too many times and then it's a real hell to realise your hopes were just "lies" you built yourself...
|
|
|
Post by Dai on May 11, 2008 22:53:43 GMT
Yeh that's true. I suppose I should act the same way I've been acting - just getting on with things. She probably misses the company, and it would be unfair on me if she wanted to get back together just because she feels lonely.
|
|
|
Post by Dai on May 13, 2008 23:01:08 GMT
Sorted things out, again. Made a hash of it because I overthink and talk too much which puts a lot of pressure on her and makes her upset. Which ends up with me apologising over and over despite only wanting to clear my head up - I just don't go for the blunt option and just talk about everything.
Basically she said if she has something to say then she would say it. She misses me on occasion but that doesn't mean she has thought about us getting back together. She has a lot else on her mind which only worsens the situation for her. It would be a great help to her if I could be there for her as a friend but I can't at the moment as when we tried meeting up as friends before I felt far too awkward and started talking about things again. Things were going fine but after this whole situation it again feels like we've just broken up, and I hate it so damn fucking much.
Urgh... back to what I was doing then - getting on with my life. It's amazing what one small glimmer of hope can do to someone. I shouldn't have taken it so seriously to be honest, but when you're given that bit of hope you need to make sure as soon as possible if it's worth having or not, so you can get back to whatever. I just feel that pushing for an answer was a bad idea.
In any case, it's hard being there for someone you're trying to get over.
|
|