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Post by Xen on Apr 30, 2008 1:03:40 GMT
i need help getting over my ex any suggestions please i have tried hitting myself with heavy objects, drinking heavily, and even brain surgery lol nothing works can anyone help!!!!
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Post by Dai on Apr 30, 2008 2:45:49 GMT
As someone who is battling the same thing, I can say the best method I've found is to spend as much time with your friends as possible. It's initially difficult as you imagine you not being with her, and/or her spending time with other guys, so get those thoughts over with as soon as possible. You should make sure you have complete closure so you don't hold on to hope and you can move on. I think talking to/thinking about other girls helps, in the way you might like to get to know them, flirt a little bit - i.e. enjoying being single. You must also realise that she will be talking to and seeing other guys, so finding a way to feel happy for her is a good idea. Think back to what it was like before you were going out - I assume you had talked to other girls, got to know them quite well and maybe got yourself into a position where something might happen. I look back at other girls and how I got on very well with them, and just think to myself that there will be more friends round the corner. I suppose some find the easiest way is to turn the love into hate. I disagree with it however it might work depending on the circumstances. A friend of mine recently split with his girlfriend of 3 years, and saw her the following week with some other guy - my friend got very ill, throwing up and losing his appetite - he lost over a stone in weight and ended up being fed through a drip in hospital. He now can't talk to her as he dislikes her so much. We had a very good chat out one night and we talked about the philosophy of relationships. We talked about how when someone's in a relationship, they feel like the king of the world and nothing is better than their relationship. The trick is that you're not the only one who feels that way, and that relationship is most likely not the only relationship you'll feel really great about. I found it difficult - I recently split from my first serious committed long-term relationship. Whilst in the relationship I felt awesome, unsurpassable, like nothing could beat it, but looking back on it it could have been a lot better, hence the split. Coming to your senses that it just wasn't to be takes a while but when you have the realisation you'll look forward to whatever life will bring. And it will be good again, you will meet more people and you will make more memories. No one can predict the future but for your sake don't hope for something that isn't going to happen, or isn't likely to happen. To have hope is to take a risk - it's safe to say you hope you win the lottery but to cling on to the hope that somehow somewhere down the line you'll get back together can ruin a man. I'd say, stick with your friends and go out as much as possible - lonely days and nights are not recommended - thoughts will stir in your mind. Settle everything in one day - all the thoughts, all the closure and all the memories, then look forward. Think that they were good times and you're a wiser person now - you can learn from this and enjoy your life. If I've completely missed the point, then do say Here's a question for you to consider - Do you miss the person or the relationship? If you miss the person you can see them as a friend, and if you miss the relationship then you'll need to find something to commit to in life (a new hobby for example) until a new relationship dawns on you. Best of luck dude, hope I've helped!
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Post by Kevio on May 1, 2008 15:14:39 GMT
Friends and music. Here's a question for you to consider - Do you miss the person or the relationship? If you miss the person you can see them as a friend, and if you miss the relationship then you'll need to find something to commit to in life (a new hobby for example) until a new relationship dawns on you. I can understand why that may work, but I think that depends more on how hard Xen fell for his ex. I've tried it but if you still have strong feelings for them you end up feeling worse.
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Post by Sue on May 2, 2008 8:17:29 GMT
Getting over someone is never easy, certain things have to be considered. Was the relationship a long term one? Did it end within the last few days? Did you live together? If the opportunity came up, would you get back together? Did she end it? If you answer yes to all these, you have to give yourself time to adjust, you can't expect your brain to forget she ever happened, but time is a great healer, and it will get easier. Find something else to use up your time, join the gym, join the librairy, join the foreign legion ;D any thing that you didn't do with her, hang out with single mates,try and avoid the mate who is one half of a couple, when the girl is a friend of your ex, unless you want to know if she is seeing someone else. and for god's sake DON'T turn on the radio, every song will remind you of her. (So the saying goes) Until you meet someone else, like the guys said, enjoy being single.Go out and see the world, Get a few friends together, and go away on holiday, even if it's just camping for a weekend, There must have been something you wanted to do, but your girlfriend didn't want to, well now is the time to do it. You WILL get over this, with time and you never know the next Mrs Xen may already be in your circle of friends, you just haven't noticed her yet. Good Luck.
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Post by Ath on May 2, 2008 19:53:24 GMT
Get out of your normal comfort zone and do something that forces you to change.
Anything you continue to do like before will probably bring back old unwanted memories...
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Post by Ogalosh on May 2, 2008 20:00:10 GMT
Listen to Come Back Around....
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Post by Feedersbiggestfan on May 6, 2008 1:13:58 GMT
imagine her with a horrible facial growth
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Post by xuenilom on May 6, 2008 20:28:12 GMT
Best way to get over a Girl is get on top of another one dude ;D
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Post by Feedersbiggestfan on May 6, 2008 21:43:29 GMT
Best way to get over a Girl is get on top of another one dude ;D haha such a typical guys thing to say I still say stick to the growth idea
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on May 8, 2008 5:51:43 GMT
Best way to get over a Girl is get on top of another one dude ;D Why did I read that as "Best way to get over a girl is to get on top of another dude" I think you needed to put a comma between one and dude
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Post by xuenilom on May 8, 2008 14:01:17 GMT
Best way to get over a Girl is get on top of another one dude ;D Why did I read that as "Best way to get over a girl is to get on top of another dude" I think you needed to put a comma between one and dude Whatever floats his boat! Turning Gay might be the best option, Girls just break your heart & your wallet
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Post by Xen on May 8, 2008 14:44:32 GMT
i am getting over her and im not planning on going back despite what i feel for her because i have been with her 3 times and everytime she has hurt me and this time shes been evil to me in things she has said and done. i loved her dearly and would have jumped through hoops to make her happy cause t me she was the best thing in my life after alot of issues with my family i have had she was luike a shining light at the end of a tunnel but at the end it didnt matter she just dumped me out of the blue same as always no warning no nothng. i syppose that makes me stupid for keep going back to her i know and im determined not to go back their. i do thank all of you for your advise even the more interesting ones (btw im bi-sexual) i have been throwing myself into my song writing atm to try and clear my head and i have been going out to meet new people as well.
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Post by Sonorous (ex-feedermadness) on May 11, 2008 20:50:41 GMT
Wow mate I've been hit a lot by your story Songwriting is a great help, I did that too. It helps you wash away all your anger
and I also think Dai's said very good things which are worth doing Don't use alcohol as a remedy though as it can be a lot worse Good luck dude *hugs for you*
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Post by cookiecat on May 13, 2008 7:22:15 GMT
Speaking personally, I have to endorse what Ath says "Get out of your normal comfort zone and do something that forces you to change." You may not see it now, (without sounding "new agey") but this is an opportunity for you to grow. Take it. You wont regret it.
Good Luck
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