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Post by Chloe on Oct 31, 2008 17:43:52 GMT
at the risk of sounding old "pah - kids today!" but seriously, when did teenagers get so badly behaved?? yes i'm talking about a minority but i swear i was never so disrespectful, arrogant and just plain stupid! spent most of the last 2 hours telling kids off in the library for various things... ended up chucking a gang of them out for throwing eggs. yes, throwing eggs. in a library. just... what?! what annoys me more is we're fairly accepting of them here, and put up with them congregating here, talking loudly and not really using the library facilities, ''cos its kinda "well, if they're not here, where else do they go" type thing... but they really push the boundaries and then have the gall to wonder why we chuck them out (and no... bikes & playing football isnt allowed in the library.. gofigure! : argh i feel like a moaning old woman but seriously, where is the general respect?
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becca
Polythene
Posts: 464
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Post by becca on Oct 31, 2008 18:27:46 GMT
I think the big problem is that it is just so incredibly difficult to instill any sort of discipline and values in kids these days... parents aren't allowed to, teachers aren't allowed to. I don't think they learn and understand the difference between right and wrong and the consequences of their actions ...until its too late ...as soon as they're old enough to be arrested and charged and sent to prison/youth thingy, they're pretty much past it, values need to be set and lived by from an early age. Of course, then you come to the problem when the parents don't have any social norm values to instill in their kids...
I don't know how we fix it. Whoever can fix it would be a very rich person!
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Post by bigospedros on Oct 31, 2008 18:59:31 GMT
i blame the parents...
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Jude
Yesterday Went Too Soon
Posts: 846
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Post by Jude on Oct 31, 2008 20:20:38 GMT
to a degree i blame parents. You do get some kids who seem to be born naughty, but yeah, mostly the parents do have alot to do with disrepectful and misbehaved children. I agree with everything Becca has said. From a personal point of view, being the mum of 2 teenagers (cant include Dan anymore, he's 21! ) isn't easy, they do have their moments where they'll rebel and cause a fuss but thats just with us, and at the end of the day weren't we all like that when we were teenagers? hormones and all that shit! When my boys are out they're very well behaved (i've been told by other adults who know us - mums will come up to me and say "i love your Mikey, he's such a kind and polite boy" ) I've actually been out shopping with my boys and they'll see a bunch of kids their own age being noisy and disruptive and they'll say to me that they hate kids like that and find them embarrassing. I feel proud that my kids know right from wrong
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Post by ludicrouslouisa on Oct 31, 2008 21:10:06 GMT
Well I'm a "good" child, I'm a domestic slave, I don't go out very much, I obey my parents because I have an overinflated sense of responsibility and feel awful if i don't do something they asked me to... most teens aren't like this, however...I think some parents just let their kids get away with too much, it's a balance really. You can't be too strict because otherwise kids will rebel, and you can't be too nice because otherwise kids think that you don't care enough to set boundaries and they rebel so that you will notice them (something my psychologist Mum told me..) It's just difficult....I think my behaviour is partially due to the way I was raised but also because of my personality - my brother doesn't do ANYTHING if he can help it, it's like moving a mountain to get him to say, empty the dishwasher. I'm sure if I wanted to my parents would let me go out and party/date people/etc etc but I have no desire to and haven't met anyone etc etc...
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Post by nancepants on Oct 31, 2008 21:21:33 GMT
heh, i have to deal with shitty kids every day. we got egged today too. i do genuinely believe a lot of it has to do with the parents. and who they hang around with (and their parents). i know some kids who are absolutely fine on their own or with certain others, but as soon as one or two particular kids arrive they just morph into little shits. but some parents succeed... which is what makes me want to blame parents in a lot of cases. today a mum was having a right old rant at us, swearing and yelling (because i told her she wasn't allowed to smoke inside )... and then her kids ran in yelling "DICKHEADS". umm, wonder where they got that from! ahem, sorry... kind of went off on one there
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Post by jellybean on Oct 31, 2008 21:55:33 GMT
Kids are having kids.
As a teenager, I can say I went off the rails a bit. I was never that terrible, really. I just used to play up alot at school. I can't blame my parents at all for that because they've been nothing but excellent. It's just something about that age, really. A lot of responsibility will fall to the parents, and it's getting harder and harder for parents to have any real control, but there are other factors which can affect behaviour. In my case it was location and peer pressure. I lived in a shitty estate in a shitty part of the city, which had a stigma attached. People would find out where I was from and the attitude would change completely, "oh, it's an orton boy. keep away."
Most of my friends and my bad behaviour came from frustration. We'd go to a school which had given up on us (what is known as the back gate/front gate scenario at our school*), we'd then go home to an area which was frankly depressing to live in, and we'd have nothing to do there. So we'd go out and mill around the place, and in that situation it's easy to slip in to some kind of 'gang mentality', or drugs, or crime. I never used to think living where I did had such an affect on me, then I moved to a nicer area which was bordered by one like where I used to live and saw it first hand. I completely changed, did well at school, either stayed in more or when I went out actually went and did activities or sport., and generally 'stayed off the streets' as it were.
There is just nowhere to go and nothing to do in that situation.
*a little note about the backgate/frontgate thing. It was a term coined by a head teacher at our school. It referred to the fact that the kids who used the front entrance to school came from the nicer areas, i.e. the villages or the new 'family' housing estates etc, and the kids who used the back entrance were typically from council estates and the rougher areas. Visitors to the school would use the front entrance and see the nice houses, nice cars, well behaved kids et al, and the rest of us were out of sight out of mind. It also pretty much summed up the attitude of teachers at the school. the "back gate kids" were the ones to be ignored, put in lower sets. The front gate kids were the ones to be granted priviledges, held up on pedestal etc.
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Post by Ath on Nov 2, 2008 21:30:18 GMT
agreed. I also blame the kids. Bring back corporal punishment. Or, a toned down eye-for-an-eye type punishment for cases in which there is absolutely NO doubt. I read about a few tenage boys who threw a cat onto a bonfire. The sick stupid bloody pricks. They want branding. To make them understand the suffering they inflicted.
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Post by xstaceyx on Nov 2, 2008 21:46:01 GMT
I read about a few tenage boys who threw a cat onto a bonfire. The sick stupid bloody pricks. They want branding. To make them understand the suffering they inflicted. very un-ladylike of me but.......fucking bastards! they deserve a rocket up their arses!!! as for kids i think most of the time its due to parents but i guess some just cant do anymore for their children, i think they should stick these terrible teenagers in the army for a bit, see how they act then!
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Sam
Polythene
Funky [F4:jet247]
Posts: 282
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Post by Sam on Nov 5, 2008 13:05:18 GMT
The thing these days is that a lot of teenagers do misbehave and no matter what people try to do about it, it just gets worse. They don't tend to have much respect for anyone and thats a big problem.
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Post by bigospedros on Nov 5, 2008 14:14:53 GMT
The thing these days is that a lot of teenagers do misbehave and no matter what people try to do about it, it just gets worse. They don't tend to have much respect for anyone and thats a big problem. I repeat ... i blame the parents. Respect for people starts at home. Many parents just don't give a toss about their kids and what they get up to. They're too busy wrapped up in their own lives etc etc. For some, having kids is a way to get more benefits, not because they want to bring up a child.
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Post by Ben on Nov 5, 2008 15:20:08 GMT
For some, having kids is a way to get more benefits, not because they want to bring up a child. And therein lies the problem. Where I sit at the football is a middle aged couple who have a rather large family (At least 5 kids), and without meaning to sound like a cock, clearly don't earn enough to look after them properly... The aim was obviously to get more £££, and as a result the kids don't have any respect, have obviously fallen in with a bad crowd and you can tell they'll be in prison before they're 20... It's a sad state of affairs
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Post by Stacey on Nov 5, 2008 15:21:08 GMT
It is sad...some of these kids just don't stand a chance.
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Post by bigospedros on Nov 5, 2008 15:41:16 GMT
the thing that frustrates me most is that the communities where this is rife don't seem to acknowledge the fact that people are trying to help them improve things.
Take where Nance works for example ... Portsmouth Council put adventure playgrounds into the poorest areas of Portsmouth. They provide facilities for play, painting, activities, whatever really ... with supervision, completely free of charge.
Nance and her colleagues work really hard, keeping the park open 5 days a week, from 3 till 7 in term time and 10 till 5 in the holidays. They try to keep the environment safe, clean and stimulating for the kids ... and what do the kids of the area do ?! They break in at night and rip up plants, vandalise stuff, smash windows etc etc. Not to mention how they talk to the staff ... the language is shocking ... but that's not just from the kids, so it's evidently clear where they get it from.
This really really frustrates me! How do they expect to improve their lot if they ruin all attempts to help them do that?! It's not just the playground ... they ruin bus shelters, local shops, phone booths etc
Really, there is no helping some people. The disappointing thing is that it's only the minority that cause the probems. There is a majority of people in the area who are just fine, or only become horrible when in the midst of others.
In some ways, I'd rather they just neutered them all and let them die out! Sorry, that sounds elitist and snobby, but that's just how I feel having seen it.
*end of rant*
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Post by jellybean on Nov 5, 2008 16:38:57 GMT
There are plenty of people out there who want to help this kind of situation, much like Nance - and hats off to ye. They're brave people. I've lived here for nineteen years and all I can think of is getting out and never coming back.
The problem is for all the people who want to help change the situation, there are going to be those who just don't give a shit. The cruel irony is those who don't are usually those in a position to help. Here, I'm talking about employers in particular. There is nowhere to go for people who grow up in such environments. As an experiment at the end of sixth form, me and a friend submitted incredibly similar CV's to various companies for apprenticeships, internships, and various jobs. The key differences on the CV's were the location. He wrote on his that he lived in a new housing development area, aimed at slightly wealthier residents of Peterborough, and I wrote on mine that I lived in the 'Ortons', primarily council estates. The CV's were so similar that if one got a call, the other should have done. Obviously this wont be the case for all of them, but we got some shocking results. The nicer estate got something like 75% more returns.
I'll try and find the write up of this somewhere, as I'm sure I'd still have it. We submitted it to Peterborough city council and basically got told to fuck off.
The parents may be to blame for their kids behaviour, but the parents are in turn victims of a society which shut their eyes. it's a cycle that will not, and indeed cannot be broken. Unemployment is on the rise, so where do the kids that are getting of a working age go? They begin the cycle again, of course.
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Post by Ben on Nov 5, 2008 17:02:17 GMT
In some ways, I'd rather they just neutered them all and let them die out! Sorry, that sounds elitist and snobby, but that's just how I feel having seen it. *end of rant* See, somewhat annoyingly that's how I feel about the whole thing too... Unless there's a massive overhaul in the way benefits are dealt with or a massive attitude shift in the country, then nothing is going to change. The kids think it's ok to do because their parents did it, and see it as a way to get free money and free housing. It's a double edged sword though...
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Post by xstaceyx on Nov 5, 2008 18:59:39 GMT
my uncles partner is just the same, get ready for this.....she's never worked a full day in her life (she's thirty-something), amazingly enough, everytime the job-centre send her a letter saying she needs to start looking for work.....she gets preggers, she has 3 children now and is on benefits and has been all her life, what annoys me is she's capable to work she just is too lazy to!!!! edit: feel free to 'slag' her off, i won't get offended!
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Post by bigospedros on Nov 5, 2008 19:21:34 GMT
she'll be fucked when it comes to later life then ... no National Insurance payments will mean she'll have the basic basic state pension which is bugger all. More fool her ...
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Post by [rach] on Nov 12, 2008 23:17:38 GMT
I agree to a degree, but im torn too.
We live in not that bad an area (even for Gloucester), went to decent schools, our parents are together and we have enough money to do everything we want. Yet I turned out semi-okay and my brother has been arrested about 5 times, stolen around £10 grand from my family inc me, doesnt keep a job for more than a week, is a scrounger, is rude and agressive.
How can the way our parents brought us up turn me out like this, and my brother like the shits we're blaming their behaviour on the parents?
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Post by Ath on Nov 15, 2008 11:04:05 GMT
Your brother younger than you by any chance?
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