Bit of Red Dwarf me thinks!
RIMMER: So, Kryten, you've heard of this "Inquisitor?"
KRYTEN: (With unnecessary melodrama) Only as a myth; a dark fable; a
horror tale, told across the flickering embers of a midnight fire,
wherever hardened space dogs gather to drink fermented vegetable
products and compete in tales of blood-chilling terror!!
RIMMER: A simple "yes" would have sufficed.
HOLLY: (Quietly) So who is he?
LISTER: Yeah, what's his beef?
KRYTEN: Well, the legend tells of a droid -- a self-repairing simulant,
who survives till the end of eternity; to the end of time itself.
After millions of years alone, he finally reaches the conclusion that
there is no god, no afterlife, and the only purpose of existence is to
lead a worthwhile life. And so the 'droid constructs a time machine,
and roams eternity, visiting every single soul in history, and
assessing each one. He erases all those who have wasted their lives
and replaces them with those who never had a chance of life -- the
unfertilized eggs, the sperms that never made it. THAT is the
Inquisitor -- he prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and
deletes the worthless!
RIMMER: We're in big trouble.
LISTER: Wait a minute! Who's to say what's worthless?
CAT: Oh please! Take a look in the mirror! Read your entry in "Who's
Nobody!"
LISTER: No, I mean it! Who's to judge? Who's to say what's worthwhile?
RIMMER: Well, let's face it, Listy, lying on your bunk, reading "What
Bike?" and eating sugar puff sandwiches for eight hours every day is
unlikely to qualify.
LISTER: So just because I haven't writ any symphonies or painted the
Sistine Chapel, that makes me prunable?
HOLLY: No, being a totally worthless, unwashed space bum, that's what
makes you prunable.
KRYTEN: Precisely. The criterion is not fame, it is simply to have lived
a worthwhile life.
RIMMER: (Who has been sitting with his head in his hands, whimpering) Why
did no one mention this before? If I had been told this at the start,
that the object was to lead a worthwhile life, I could have done
something about it! All those charity telethons when I used to ring in
and pledge donations -- if I had known this, I would have given them
_my_ credit card number!
KRYTEN: Sir! Sir, you don't have to be a great philanthropist, or a
missionary worker, you simply have to seize the gift of life!
RIMMER: Oh god.
KRYTEN: Make a contribution!
RIMMER: Oh god.
KRYTEN: No matter how small!
RIMMER: Oh god.
KRYTEN: You simply have to have lead a life that wasn't totally
egocentric, vain and self-serving!
RIMMER: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you!
KRYTEN: I'm just trying to make you feel better, sir!
RIMMER: Well shut up then!
LISTER: Hang on a minute, why should we have to take any notice of some
half-crazed rogue robot who's appointed himself judge and jury to the
whole of humanity? Why should we kowtow to his judgment?